Application To Be Stupid

The National Highway Traffic Safety Administration has just released a report on the effects seen from the repeal of Florida’s mandatory motorcycle helmet law back in 2000 (summary and CNN report). The effect was pretty much the same as seen in other states that have repealed helmet laws: deaths increased and costs to treat head injuries more than doubled (with $10.5 million charged to charitable and government sources).

Of course, the report just dredges up all the libertarian arguments about how the government shouldn’t interfere with one’s right to be stupid, so long as they aren’t hurting anyone else by their stupidity. That argument has an air of truth to it for me, and as a public service I’d like to propose a simple government form:

Application To Be Stupid

Name: ______________ Date: ______________

Intended stupidity (check one):

[ ] Riding motorcycle without helmet
[ ] Driving without wearing seat belt
[ ] Asserting my second-amendment rights while drunk
[ ] Other (please specify): ___________________

Please read carefully and sign below:

I hereby attest that I am hellbent and determined to be as stupid as possible, as is within my rights as a free-thinking adult, and assert that it is nobody's business to tell me otherwise. I also attest that all of the following are true:

  • Should I sustain injury, I will refuse any and all medical aid offered above and beyond that which would be reasonably required by a more intelligent person. I will wear my Stupid Alert medical bracelet at all times during my activity.
  • I am either not insured, or have filed a stupidity waver with my insurance company, such that rates will not increase for others due to my stupidity.
  • I have no dependents who rely on my presence or income.
  • I am either not currently employed or my employment is currently a drag on my employer and the economy. No business decisions have been made under the assumption that I would take reasonable precautions for my own life.
  • There is no one who loves me or who would be distraught, depressed would or otherwise miss me if my stupidity brings about my premature end.
  • I am of sound mind and and am fully capable of making a rational decision. I am not currently under the influence of alcohol, drugs, or inordinate libertarianism.

Signature: _____________________________

(Thanks to Judith for the link!)